miscarriages

My friend had a miscarriage. She and I had been having trouble communicating without fighting because even the strongest of us can't avoid those feelings of jealousy when a friend can have a baby and we can't... Well, now she doesn't have a baby anymore, and we find ourselves feeling many of the same feelings towards our friends who are pregnant.

Now I find myself counseling her on how to work through her feelings about her miscarriage. I had one 6 years ago. I was only a few weeks to a month pregnant. Hadn't even told my spouse yet, which I still love because I never got the pity looks. And in reality, I'm really glad I had that miscarriage, because it meant that I didn't have a baby to tie me to that horrible relationship. And I was able to find C and have the beautiful relationship I have with her, the family we have here. But still sometimes when I hear the name I had already chosen for that baby, I feel my heart jump at times.

I've always been better at dealing with things when I can use them to help others. I'm a constant counselor. Actually, my therapist in high school spent HOURS trying to convince me to go into therapy as a profession. I've been through a lot and come out shining from most situations so I guess she felt I'd be good at it. Really, though, I'm happy just helping those I love. And because I can spend this time helping her work through her grief, I feel better about my own feelings.