Thank you...

...to the most amazing best friend I could ever ask for... you were a wonderful distraction today. I managed to avoid hating pregnant women, avoid glaring at strollers... Today was beautiful. Perfect. For the first time in a long time my world felt complete even WITHOUT a baby in it. Thank you. There are no words to express how much today meant to me...

Folding...

baby clothes... -sigh-

Oh, and I'm absolutely LOVING that this entire season of Eureka has revolved around one of characters' pregnancy... (Is the dripping sarcasm obvious enough there? Even my sci fi shows aren't safe these days!)

The Process

And so it begins again... Hope everyone bears with me as I lose my mind over the next few weeks. :)

Creating a Family

I've spent a RIDICULOUS amount of time with the girl lately. She's been a really blessed distraction during our couple of weeks between inseminations. We've always been the kind of friends who can't stop talking to each other, so we've covered a lot of topics in the last week. This morning we were discussing family, and what that means to us. The roles she, C and I each play in my family. And how badly I want to raise a baby in that loving environment.

We were also talking about C this morning. How much she loves the both of us, and wants us both to be happy. How amazing she is, how giving she is. I ended up crashing at the girl's place last night and when I got home this morning I had a note from C saying she was sorry she didn't get an opportunity to kiss me goodbye this morning. I'm not sure she knows just how much she means to me, how much those notes mean to me.

So, even though I'm absolutely DYING in this heat, I wanted to write about how great life is. My family is messed up but we're so perfect together. Me, C, the girl, her daughters, my sisters, C's brothers, and more... Nieces, nephews. We're a very lucky group of people. I can't wait to have a house I can fill up with all those people and all that love.

Deep...

I'm feeling very deep this evening. Introspective. I spent a few hours just chilling with the girl, listening to music and singing. She played this song by Bonnie Raitt... Heard it a thousand times, I own the cd... but tonight it really hit me...

"A friend of mine she cries at night, and she
Calls me on the phone
Sees babies everywhere she goes and she
Wants one of her own.
She's waited long enough she says"

Another of those moments that I remember I'm really not alone...

Conception

http://davenit.deviantart.com/art/Conception-132826966

Things to Do...

...before I'm pregnant and can't do them, or won't have the energy to do them.

That's what I'm focusing on these days.

-re-caulk the bathtub
-finish painting the bedroom trim
-reorganize storage items
-get king sized bed (check! did that yesterday)
-get plastic mat to go under bird cage
-repair bookshelf
-paint ivy trim in kitchen
-clean out cabinets in kitchen (check!)
-replace missing outlet covers
-fix broken overhead lights
-sell the bikes we aren't going to use
-clean dragon figurines (check!)
-wrap Christmas presents (yes, I'm already thinking Christmas. I work retail. Have to plan early.)
-clean out old magazines
-clean back hallway (check!)
-legally change name
-change bedroom art
-sell computer
-wash curtains (check!)
-replace broken mini blinds (except the one by the parrot, seems pointless to replace that one so long as he's still using it as a chew toy)
-clean the rest of the mini blinds
-clean fans (check!)

That's the list for now... All the things I want done before we're pregnant, or before the pregnant belly is so big it gets in the way.

Well...

We'll be trying again in a couple of weeks I suppose.

Gayby's...

This article is about kids who have grown up with gay parents.

Gayby Article

At Home Insemination

It's not pleasant. There are a million websites on how to do it, the technicals of it. How do you handle how incredibly unpleasant it is? I'm already dreading it and it's a couple weeks away... -sigh-

Love It

Brilliant comic strip about Oxytocin

A few thoughts...

-People who get pregnant on accident have no idea how lucky they are... I know there are downfalls to it, obviously, but they'll never spend two full weeks wondering if they are pregnant because by the time they start wondering they can test and it'll probably be accurate...

-The symptoms of early pregnancy and the symptoms of PMDD are very similar.

-Being pregnant in the summertime must SUCK... I hate the heat now, can't imagine how it would feel 7 or 8 months pregnant. I hope I never have to go through that... (my love to you eatmisery)

-I eat a lot now, how much will I eat when I'm eating for more than just me?

-I'm tired. I want to go back to bed. I want this to be easier.