tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31997504431059301552024-02-01T20:41:50.799-08:00Becoming MomsMorriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-58633457902644178092009-09-09T12:13:00.000-07:002009-09-09T12:14:36.439-07:00Hold Me Back...My brother turns 19 next month. He hasn't yet graduated high school.<br /><br />He just called to tell me his girlfriend is pregnant.<br /><br />I'm going to kill someone...Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-84712058315952384422009-09-06T05:36:00.000-07:002009-09-06T05:37:10.222-07:00I officially HATEcramps.Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-70656612054406611532009-09-04T09:33:00.000-07:002009-09-04T09:35:06.447-07:00Early Pregnancy TestsI've decided it is WAY easier for me to just wait and see than it is to take an <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">EPT</span>. I could test now, but they aren't always correct early on. I'd rather wait... And I have been able to avoid obsessing. If I'm not posting here you can assume it's because I am doing alright, and not stressing out...Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-2435660300392320182009-08-31T19:06:00.000-07:002009-08-31T19:09:36.932-07:00Thank you......to the most amazing best friend I could ever ask for... you were a wonderful distraction today. I managed to avoid hating pregnant women, avoid glaring at strollers... Today was beautiful. Perfect. For the first time in a long time my world felt complete even WITHOUT a baby in it. Thank you. There are no words to express how much today meant to me...Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-10485518441761147012009-08-27T17:01:00.001-07:002009-08-27T17:12:35.532-07:00Folding...baby clothes... -sigh-<br /><br />Oh, and I'm absolutely LOVING that this entire season of Eureka has revolved around one of characters' pregnancy... (Is the dripping sarcasm obvious enough there? Even my sci fi shows aren't safe these days!)Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-8931761103066057662009-08-21T05:46:00.000-07:002009-08-21T05:47:18.072-07:00The ProcessAnd so it begins again... Hope everyone bears with me as I lose my mind over the next few weeks. :)Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-47312947496725604692009-08-19T09:56:00.001-07:002009-08-19T13:22:10.543-07:00Creating a FamilyI've spent a RIDICULOUS amount of time with the girl lately. She's been a really blessed distraction during our couple of weeks between inseminations. We've always been the kind of friends who can't stop talking to each other, so we've covered a lot of topics in the last week. This morning we were discussing family, and what that means to us. The roles she, C and I each play in my family. And how badly I want to raise a baby in that loving environment.<br /><br />We were also talking about C this morning. How much she loves the both of us, and wants us both to be happy. How amazing she is, how giving she is. I ended up crashing at the girl's place last night and when I got home this morning I had a note from C saying she was sorry she didn't get an opportunity to kiss me goodbye this morning. I'm not sure she knows just how much she means to me, how much those notes mean to me.<br /><br />So, even though I'm absolutely DYING in this heat, I wanted to write about how great life is. My family is messed up but we're so perfect together. Me, C, the girl, her daughters, my sisters, C's brothers, and more... Nieces, nephews. We're a very lucky group of people. I can't wait to have a house I can fill up with all those people and all that love.Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-52677526752673609782009-08-11T18:57:00.000-07:002009-08-11T19:07:21.255-07:00Deep...I'm feeling very deep this evening. Introspective. I spent a few hours just chilling with the girl, listening to music and singing. She played this song by Bonnie Raitt... Heard it a thousand times, I own the cd... but tonight it really hit me...<br /><br />"A friend of mine she cries at night, and she<br />Calls me on the phone<br />Sees babies everywhere she goes and she<br />Wants one of her own.<br />She's waited long enough she says"<br /><br />Another of those moments that I remember I'm really not alone...Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-82068474516177704442009-08-10T10:01:00.001-07:002009-08-10T10:02:32.088-07:00Conception<a href="http://davenit.deviantart.com/art/Conception-132826966">http://davenit.deviantart.com/art/Conception-132826966</a>Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-82675547768505847762009-08-10T04:15:00.000-07:002009-08-10T08:54:04.822-07:00Things to Do......before I'm pregnant and can't do them, or won't have the energy to do them.<br /><br />That's what I'm focusing on these days.<br /><br />-re-caulk the bathtub<br />-finish painting the bedroom trim<br />-reorganize storage items<br />-get king sized bed (check! did that yesterday)<br />-get plastic mat to go under bird cage<br />-repair bookshelf<br />-paint ivy trim in kitchen<br />-clean out cabinets in kitchen (check!)<br />-replace missing outlet covers<br />-fix broken overhead lights<br />-sell the bikes we aren't going to use<br />-clean dragon figurines (check!)<br />-wrap Christmas presents (yes, I'm already thinking Christmas. I work retail. Have to plan early.)<br />-clean out old magazines<br />-clean back hallway (check!)<br />-legally change name<br />-change bedroom art<br />-sell computer<br />-wash curtains (check!)<br />-replace broken mini blinds (except the one by the parrot, seems pointless to replace that one so long as he's still using it as a chew toy)<br />-clean the rest of the mini blinds<br />-clean fans (check!)<br /><br />That's the list for now... All the things I want done before we're pregnant, or before the pregnant belly is so big it gets in the way.Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-20393351199974611942009-08-08T18:16:00.001-07:002009-08-08T18:16:34.090-07:00Well...We'll be trying again in a couple of weeks I suppose.Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-69700372571330649422009-08-06T05:13:00.001-07:002009-08-06T05:14:31.656-07:00Gayby's...This article is about kids who have grown up with gay parents. <br /><br /><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/Story?id=8232392&page=1">Gayby Article</a>Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-89616142614294779862009-08-03T08:25:00.000-07:002009-08-03T08:26:48.243-07:00At Home InseminationIt's not pleasant. There are a million websites on how to do it, the technicals of it. How do you handle how incredibly unpleasant it is? I'm already dreading it and it's a couple weeks away... -sigh-Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-40587684540628387402009-08-01T16:52:00.000-07:002009-08-01T16:55:18.394-07:00Love It<a href="http://www.thecowgoddess.com/2009/08/01/oxytocin-obsolete/">Brilliant comic strip about Oxytocin</a>Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-12772904218479252602009-08-01T08:21:00.001-07:002009-08-01T08:30:10.110-07:00A few thoughts...-People who get pregnant on accident have no idea how lucky they are... I know there are downfalls to it, obviously, but they'll never spend two full weeks wondering if they are pregnant because by the time they start wondering they can test and it'll probably be accurate...<br /><br />-The symptoms of early pregnancy and the symptoms of PMDD are very similar.<br /><br />-Being pregnant in the summertime must SUCK... I hate the heat now, can't imagine how it would feel 7 or 8 months pregnant. I hope I never have to go through that... (my love to you eatmisery)<br /><br />-I eat a lot now, how much will I eat when I'm eating for more than just me?<br /><br />-I'm tired. I want to go back to bed. I want this to be easier.Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-23548913966907740852009-07-31T05:25:00.000-07:002009-07-31T05:28:14.613-07:00We NEED this onesie!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKVwdtb_U5L5Eal8YYLNLDyFAS9ikcWC9_4hq_NsCjWpeE2JSnPlCZOh682Sbs2dT_tAv17oQECKCLqkmCIGTNyUNiFvkNItjcGdhG4rQQ1iWg8klfIpnlWC6hjbSoqxiv_wXQrUXMVec/s1600-h/58933788v53_350x350_Front_Color-White.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKVwdtb_U5L5Eal8YYLNLDyFAS9ikcWC9_4hq_NsCjWpeE2JSnPlCZOh682Sbs2dT_tAv17oQECKCLqkmCIGTNyUNiFvkNItjcGdhG4rQQ1iWg8klfIpnlWC6hjbSoqxiv_wXQrUXMVec/s320/58933788v53_350x350_Front_Color-White.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5364599583003829410" /></a><br /><br /><P><P><P><P><P><P><br /><br />Or maybe we need the bib version... Or the kids hoodie... Or all of the above. lol<br /><a href="http://www.cafepress.com/mombian.58933788">mombian.com</a>Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-90771278948723314722009-07-28T03:54:00.000-07:002009-07-28T04:20:14.876-07:00A Day OutGoing to spend today with C and my inlaws on a boat. I'm looking forward to a day with people who don't know that I might be pregnant. I purposely avoided taking a test yesterday simply because I didn't want the results on my mind or C's mind. See, I can be a patient person. <br /><br />The entire idea that the mind can create symptoms of being pregnant fascinates me. Can't help but wonder... One of the symptoms I have right now is something I didn't realize happens to pregnant women, however it can also happen to stressed out women, so who's to say? And one of the symptoms that would have been an obvious sign to me I don't have at all...<br /><br />So, I'm off... Here's to hoping I don't puke all over the boat!Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-67301788812260348502009-07-27T07:35:00.000-07:002009-07-27T07:36:10.267-07:00EltonHey you, you're a child in my head<br />You haven't walked yet<br />Your first words have yet to be said<br />But I swear you'll be blessed<br /><br />I know you're still just a dream<br />your eyes might be green<br />Or the bluest that I've ever seen<br />Anyway you'll be blessed<br /><br />And you, you'll be blessed<br />You'll have the best<br />I promise you that<br />I'll pick a star from the sky<br />Pull your name from a hat<br />I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that<br />You'll be blessed<br /><br />I need you before I'm too old<br />To have and to hold<br />To walk with you and watch you grow<br />And know that you're blessedMorriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-33997843138207071702009-07-26T17:45:00.000-07:002009-07-26T17:47:26.006-07:00heheheI bitched and bitched about not wanting everyone to know my cycle... lol... And then I made a little ticker with a little fag-bunny hopping across it so all my blog readers know exactly what it is! <br /><br />hehehe<br /><br />I know, I contradict myself... but he is a cute little dancing fag bunny...Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-15314727042420354832009-07-24T18:14:00.000-07:002009-07-24T18:21:38.350-07:00The Vagina MonologuesOn the fourth of July a friend made a reference to "The Vagina Monologues" and was shocked when I told him I hadn't seen it. It was on my Netflix Queue but kept getting bumped to the bottom of the list for other movies. I am a woman, a lesbian, a politically-aware person, a victim of abuse, a theatre geek, and I want to be a mom. He knows all this, and these are the reasons he was shocked I hadn't seen this movie. Now that I have seen it, I understand his shock. However, I also know why I hadn't seen it before. The universe was holding it for me... Waiting. For this moment. For this point in my life. When I have to accept my femininity more than I ever have before. When I had to actually go LOOKING for a man, after spending ten years convincing the world I don't have a use for them. There are a million reasons.<br /><br />All those lame things people say like "this movie changed my life" and "I'll never forget..." blah blah... Well, I don't think I'd go THAT far. It hasn't changed my life... But it has given me a sense of comfort in what we are trying to accomplish. A sense of comfort I didn't have before.Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-9419547425770872532009-07-22T19:43:00.000-07:002009-07-22T19:52:25.294-07:00Let Me Be!I turned on "Cybill". Maryanne was taking a pregnancy test.<br /><br />I switched to "That 70's Show"... Kelso was watching his daughter for the first time.<br /><br />"Reba"... Cheyenne is pregnant for the 2nd time.<br /><br />"Torchwood"... Gwen (who told her husband she never wanted kids because her career comes first) is pregnant.<br /><br />"King of Queens"... A show about a couple that is childless... and they're discussing whether or not they'll want a baby one day!!!<br /><br />So I came online only to find a woman with an infant hanging out in my virtual vampire club... <br /><br />WTF?<br /><br />I give up! I'm finally at a point where what happens from here on out is really out of my hands. I don't have to think about paperwork, finding a donor, any of that. I can finally calm down. All I want is to be able to quiet my mind, relax, and wait and see what happens and the world won't fucking let me! Just give me a few moments without babies! Please!!! I don't want to be obsessed but the minute I stop thinking about babies, one shows up!!!Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-23500766089191644192009-07-22T04:17:00.000-07:002009-07-22T04:21:16.505-07:00Feeling SickIt's not morning sickness, but of course since so many people know we're trying the minute I complain of nausea everyone drives me nuts with that question...<br /><br />So, since it was on my mind anyway when my sister called last night I asked her if she had morning sickness. She said not only did she not get any morning sickness while pregnant, my mom never did either. My mom had five kids and not a bit of morning sickness.<br /><br />Either way the nausea and urge to puke I've been feeling the last twenty four hours is just the bug that everyone I work with has right now! Nothing more! Relax people! Give me some air!Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-13125816355241038232009-07-19T16:23:00.000-07:002009-07-19T17:07:01.510-07:00No PrivacyNow that we'll be actively trying to get pregnant I'm very uncomfortable with how many people know that. If I could have I would have avoided anyone besides C, the girl, the donor and myself knowing that we'd started trying. But that just didn't work out... I needed someone to get me syringes and couldn't bring myself to pay for them when I could get them for free. I have a friend who works with wildlife so I asked her to give me some. Unfortunately, that meant telling her when we would need them... She came over today and immediately asked if I'd bought a bunch of pregnancy tests so we were prepared. -breathes- Oh, and that friend lives with two of our other closest friends... And we all work together...<br /><br />I feel like everyone is going to be watching me, waiting. Looking for signs of pregnancy. Bad enough that I'll be doing that! I don't want everyone else to! I have miscarried once before and because of this I don't really want to tell EVERYONE the minute we find out we're pregnant. But people are going to be looking for signs, because so many people know we're trying.<br /><br />I'm also nervous about when we are pregnant, and when we do tell people, how that is going to go... With people who knew me when I swore I would never have kids... With family members who don't approve of my marriage... This won't be the happy announcement it should be with everyone... With most people we know it will be... but not everyone. And some of the people it won't go over well with are people that really matter... even though I don't necessarily want them to matter, they do.<br /><br />Just feeling a lot of pressure today, I guess... Feels like it's all on me right now... -sigh-<br /><br />I miss feeling like the strong, together one. I just feel so weak, out of control and scattered lately... I miss having someone rely on me instead. What was it the girl said? I just need a distraction...Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-51325646055334969682009-07-18T20:43:00.000-07:002009-07-18T20:45:05.918-07:00I'm Tired......of so many people being involved.<br /><br />...of this being so "weird" and "abnormal".<br /><br />I'm ready for the "normal" stuff to begin... Like morning sickness and baby puke...Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3199750443105930155.post-50055636847201218802009-07-16T19:11:00.000-07:002009-07-16T19:26:19.727-07:00We Have A DonorThis is real. We are no longer the lesbians looking for sperm. We have a donor. He's tested clean and good to go. We're signing paperwork Saturday night with our notary (a.k.a. the girl) and our first insemination will follow within a few days after that.<br /><br />I think it hit C tonight in a way it hadn't before. All of a sudden she is... SO EXCITED. Beyond anything I've seen up to this point. I keep having to remind her that it takes the average woman 4-6 months to get pregnant. She's pinning a lot of hopes on it not taking us that long. Honestly, I'm okay if it takes four to six months. I expect it to, even. Just knowing we have a donor and the process really can begin now makes me hate pregnant women a little less... lol<br /><br />However, I'm beginning to think about money. I hope we can get enough into savings in the next few months to make me feel comfortable. We really don't have a lot to BUY for our baby so that's not an issue. I'm more concerned with covering medical expenses and time off from work. So, I'm going to start paying really close attention to our finances and trying to build us a little financial cushion as we begin this process... Any way I can make some extra cash I'm jumping on right now.Morriganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05687728647016455400noreply@blogger.com0